It was a MASSIVE row…
The kind you can’t step back from.
“I know this is your dream, Mum. But that’s the thing: It’s your dream, not mine. And I have one of my own.”
I was enrolling in counselling training. Which meant leaving her business. Her dream. The one I’d been helping build while my own stayed tucked away where no one (including me) could see it.
She was furious.
EPIPHANY 🤯
In that moment, it was crystal clear: I couldn’t keep living this way. I couldn’t keep helping everyone else succeed while I stayed invisible.
I held my ground while she raged.
It was terrifying. But it felt… right.
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
Here’s the thing about spending your whole life keeping everyone else happy: you got really good at making yourself small, complying with demands, saying yes to everyone and everything, anticipating reactions, ignoring your own needs to make sure others are comfortable.
Those strategies? They weren’t failures. They were brilliant survival mechanisms that got you through. You were creative, resourceful and determined enough to figure out what you needed to do to make it through each day.
But what kept you safe then is keeping you stuck now.
And maybe – just maybe – you’re exhausted from it.
Perhaps you have a dream too.
You might have had it for a while, tucked at the back of your mind. That seed of an idea that’s never quite gone away…
Maybe it’s time for you now. Time for that dream you have…
It’s a BIG MOMENT… (did the earth just shift?)
And then, a little voice whispers:
“But I…
- …don’t know who I am, other than ‘Mum’ or ‘the reliable one’
- …don’t know if I have what it takes
- …don’t even know where to begin
- …can’t handle disappointing people”
The doubts crowd in:
- What if I try and mess it all up?
- What if people laugh at me or disapprove?
- What if I don’t even know who I am anymore?
- Who am I to think I can do this?
I get it. I’ve been there.
What I’ve Learned
Change doesn’t come from waiting until you believe you’re worthy, then acting.
It comes from acting your way into self-worth – taking small, imperfect steps, saying yes to yourself, discovering you can survive disappointing others, and building evidence that your needs matter too.
You don’t need to wait until you feel ready. You don’t need years of therapy before you can start. You don’t need the perfect plan or all the fancy equipment or pots of money.
As Arthur Ashe said: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
It might be messy to begin with, I’m not gonna lie!
But what if, together, we could find a starting point and begin with what you already have – your dream, your survival skills, your courage? (Yes, you have that too).
After all those years, caring for everyone and pouring your best into them, it feels impossible to work out what you want.
You’ve moulded yourself to be everything to everyone, denying yourself. So now, you’re almost a stranger to yourself.
Start Where You Are
After all those years caring and pouring your everything into others, it can feel impossible to even know what you want. You’ve twisted yourself into a pretzel to fit everyone else’s needs. You’re almost a stranger to yourself.
So “Who am I?” might be a good starting point.
Because when you know who you are – when you’re clear on your values, your personality, what makes you uniquely you– you can:
🌟 Take action that aligns with who you are, not who you think you should be
🌟 Build authentic relationships without using on people-pleasing to feel safe
🌟 Make decisions with courage and confidence, without second-guessing how it will land with other people
🌟 Say yes to yourself – even when it’s scary, even when it’s messy, even before you fully believe you deserve it
What If There Was a Way To…
♥️ Get clear on who you are and what resources you already have?
♥️ Grow your courage to be imperfect and start before you’re ready?
♥️ Honour what your younger self achieved while choosing something different for the life you want now?
Wouldn’t it feel amazing to finally take those courageous steps toward what you’ve been wanting for so long?
If you’ve had enough of:
❌ Years of putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own
❌ Hiding resentment behind a smile and pushing on through exhaustion
❌ Being overlooked and undervalued while doing everything for everyone else
❌ Waiting to feel “ready enough” or “worthy enough” to start
✅ If you’re ready to start living on your terms, I’d love to walk that path with you.
I work with people who’ve spent their lives fulfilling everyone else’s needs to rediscover who they truly are, build their courage to be imperfect, and take messy, brave steps toward the life they’ve dreamed about.
Small steps. Messy progress. Real change. That’s how we do this.
You’ve been surviving your whole life. Now let’s explore what it looks like to live on your terms.
It’s your turn now. Are you ready?
If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s have a conversation about what walking this path together might look like for you.
And if you want to keep exploring? Subscribe to this newsletter for more on how to say yes to yourself and discover: The courage you need to get started?
♥️ You’ve had it all along ♥️